Ah…the Olympics.  It’s such a magical time when dreams are fulfilled and we all live vicariously through our countrymen.  It brings us all together in a sense of camaraderie.  Whether you are cheering on the athletes, a fan of the obscure sports, or just really excited to have something to talk about, the Olympic Games provide us all with a reason to rock the red, white, and blue.

However, I do get a kick out of all of the random games that they play.  I feel like most of these things were invented out of boredom while they were waiting for the real games to start.  That kind of makes me want to invent some games.  So here we go….the Christian Olympics.

1.  Communion Races – Teams of deacons from all over the world compete to see how quickly they can get bread and cup to a congregation of 1000 people.  Every person must have a wafer and cup of grape juice, and the trays must be stacked neatly for the clock to stop.  Penalties will be incurred for spilled juice and dropped crackers.

2.  Walking on Water – All competitors are welcome to walk across the river to see who can reach the other side the fastest.  If they fail to walk the entire way, they are welcome to swim.  Penalties will be incurred if contestants fail to get out of the boat.

3.  Ultimate Frisbee – Yeah, you read that right.  Jon Acuff makes a very convincing case that ultimate is God’s favorite sport.  So we have no choice but to put it in the Christian Olympics.

4.  Prayer Marathon – The gold medal in this event will be given to the Christian that can say the most words in a prayer without repeating things the pagans.  Penalties will be incurred for speaking in old English

5.  Potluck Cookoff – I know that Olympic events are supposed to be athletic.  But the finesse with which Christian women create gooey-filled pastries rivals that of any gymnast.  Seriously, we could break this thing down into categories like entrées, potato-based dishes, green vegetables, breads, and a variety of dessert events.  Penalties will be incurred if any entry is sugar-free.

6.  Interpretive Dance – This could be great...like really great.  Folks could create their own interpretive dances based on Christian songs, hymns and contemporary style.  It would be judged by a panel with representation from each denomination.  Penalties will be incurred for anybody that tries to “Dougie.”

This is just the tip of the iceberg, my friends.  There are so many possibilities.  What other games would you like to see happen at the Christian Olympics?

8/7/2012 09:41:00 am

Christians are in a spiritual athletic competition.
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